Hello EGNA family~
This topic comes from the Basic Text, Chapter Four "How It Works" page 20 Fifth Ed.
"Our inability to control our usage of drugs is a symptom of the disease of addiction. We are powerless not only over drugs, but over our addiction as well. We need to admit this fact in order to recover. Addiction is a physical, mental and spiritual disease that affects every area of our lives."
In reading our literature, and learning what the disease of addiction really is according to addicts like me, who wrote this book, helped me in a way no other information had until that point.
I did learn the medical definition, while in treatment, and while I understood it to affect my brain, nervous system, etc., finding out that it also affects mental and (most importantly for me,) spiritual aspects, was crucial for me, to fully understand the whole spectrum of addiction.
I now knew, that all my life, my negative thinking and behavior since I was three, telling my mom, "I hate the color of my eyes", and changing my name, so I didn't have to be me, when meeting new people, was all symptoms of the disease of addiction. All those years, I didn't understand why I thought, felt and acted the way I did, and had no ability to cope or ask for help, because I didn't realize I needed help.
The spiritual part for me has to do with self awareness. Before recovery, I acted recklessly, in many areas, and was very self destructive, without thinking of any consequences for myself or anyone else. In early recovery, I was so consumed with the obsession and compulsion to use, so it was easy to relate to the "inability to control my usage". Then to learn, that part was a symptom of what was really going on with me, was a relief. I finally was made aware that I used to cope with those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that I described earlier. I am so grateful my higher power brought me to NA, and NA has given me the knowledge and tools I needed to finally ask for help, and change my negative thoughts into positive, and unhealthy behaviors into healthy ones. Today, as a result of working the NA program, I have learned to love myself, like the color of my eyes, and be proud of my name!
Please share your experience, strength and hope on the literature,
ILS,
Cat~Cheryl T.