Anna
D
Hello, I am Anna D. a grateful recovering addict. This is my Experience, Strength & Hope on the topic of online recovery. I live in a very small farming town and we have no NA meetings here. I would have to travel almost 60 miles to go to a meeting. I also have a seizure disorder that prevents me from driving. I checked around and found no other addicts in my community, so I am what you would call an isolated addict. On the first day that I was totally clean of all drugs, I was very scared. I felt so lost and alone. I had no one to talk to and nowhere to turn. Hoping to find some help with withdrawal symptoms, I went online and did a search. To my amazement, I found a link to a group called Earth Group NA. I clicked the link, and to my surprise was taken to a login page for an NA meeting. Wanting help, desperately I logged in. I was amazed. Here in this virtual room were addicts of all different ages, names,races but most impressive, all different countries! That very first day I listened. I had never been to any NA meeting online or face-to face, but I felt warmth there. As soon as the meeting ended, people began to talk and one lady spoke to me. She was very kind and explained a bit about NA and online meetings. I was a basket case that day so I barely remember all that she said, but I DO remember that she asked me no questions about my past. She only wanted to know how she could help me. A total stranger wanted to help me? Why? What's the catch? I went back the next day (as they had all asked me to) and found the same warmth and unconditional fellowship as the day before. Needless to say, I soon found that there was no "catch". Just other people like me that have a disease that wants to kill us and who know that they cannot stay clean alone. I began to practically live in that room. I met people there that I began to trust. Imagine that. I couldn't see them. They couldn't see me. But somehow we formed bonds, friendships - a family. Soon I was sharing. I remember the first time the chairperson asked if anyone was celebrating 30 days or less, explaining that the newcomer was the most important person at any meeting. I was so timid, but I typed in "I have 10 days today" The room erupted with, “Way to go Anna!!!!”, “10 miracles in a row!!!! Whooohooooo WTG”, “Sweetie!!!! We are so proud of you!!!! Keep coming back hon'”, “it works if you work it!!!!!!” All typed onto my screen. . . I could barely see it all for the tears of sheer delight that these people truly were happy for me! I soon began to explore other portions of the site. I found the BBS and read countless posts from members who wanted to share their ES&H on numerous topics. I found that one could ask a question there and get genuine feedback from others. Soon someone asked if I had a sponsor yet. I said I didn't because there were none where I live. This person explained sponsorship to me and pointed me to a few ladies who sponsor women online. I was so scared to ask someone. The first woman I asked explained that she was not yet ready to be a sponsor. She was very new also. But she pointed me to another lady in the group. This one said yes! So began a wonderful relationship with a woman on the other end of the States from me. We began to talk about step work but I had no books. So she told me that our site has all the literature I needed. There began my first step work. One day during regular chat in room, we were talking about step work, and I mentioned that I was doing mine from the online literature. Before I knew it, a package arrived at my door with all the books I would ever need. It was from a friend who had my address because I trusted her enough to share it with her, thinking I would be getting a welcome card. I was amazed. I tried to pay for the books but she adamantly refused! She wanted to teach me how the program works. We keep what we have by giving it away. So I worked very hard those first weeks and made at least two meetings per day. Then my 30-day NA anniversary came. I got a card from the site that I still have! I was also asked then if I would be willing to do some service work. I was asked to greet people who came into the meetings. I was afraid of that! I felt I had nothing to offer anyone. The OMC (Online Meeting Coordinator) encouraged me and asked me to try it for the Sunday Evening Speaker meeting in which she chaired. That made me much more comfortable, as I trusted her to bail me out if I got into trouble. So I took on my first 3-month commitment as Greeter. Wow, the feeling that I experienced when the first newcomer came in just as scared as I had been a month before and I was able to answer her questions and guide her on how our meetings worked was indescribable! I felt such gratitude. I greeted for that meeting and also the Monday noon meeting. The Monday noon meeting commitment I still hold today. I continued to grow and to understand more and more. Soon I had the required clean time to Chair meetings. Again, I was scared. Again the OMC was right there for me until I felt comfortable chairing on my own. I have chaired the Wednesday noon meeting since that first day. I also chair the Freedom Friday Tag meeting every week and have for many months. Service is my way of giving back what was so freely given to me, when I arrived at Earth Group NA. I joined the Home Group and began to participate in nominations and voting procedures for our Trusted Servants. I began to attend business meetings and have a voice as a Home Group member about how our site is managed. This past October I was nominated for the trusted servant position as Topic person for our Bi-Weekly Emeetings. I felt so honored to be given the chance to serve my fellow addicts. I accepted the nomination, went through the process of election as our P&P states, and gratefully was elected by my Home Group to serve. I was so humbled and so grateful. Service to me is the ultimate way to give back. To keep what I have found and assure that this venue is open for others like me who find themselves lost , alone and isolated. I am so grateful to NA, my HP and Earth Group NA for the new life that I have now. My life is the total opposite of what is was when I found my online home. I am truly blessed. I would say to any addict out there who is isolated and struggling to stay clean, We here at Earth Group Na welcome you with open hearts and arms. You need never be alone in NA, even if you cannot physically attend face 2 face meetings. We are here for you. Thank you very much for the chance to share my personal message of hope. Remember that Just One Day At A Time, WE CAN!! In Loving Service, Anna D. addict
